One second you’re smiling and the next one you’re hiding the face waiting for a punch that won’t come. Talking freely and then covering your ears wainting for a frustrated scream. Giving yourself completely and more, but still feeling like isn’t enough. — It isn’t — Learning how to pretend so much that it becomes second nature, until you’re in the darkness of your safe place.
Silence. Silence in moments of truth. Silence in disputes. Silence in decisive questions. Silence when someone shows affection. Silence when you want to show affection.
Trauma is also finding light almost anywhere. — dangerous, maybe — Appreciate every little detail like it’s the best moment of your life. — perhaps it is — .
Trauma is being afraid of every caress, word, look and touch but still wanting it all.