Prequel
I remember knowing how to sing before I could make friends.
I remember my parent’s proud looks when I learned an entire song for the first time.
I remember my only friend in preschool making fun of me when I picked a lullaby to sing in front of the classroom.
The laughs, and the silence that followed.
I also remember being lonely after that too.
I remember being weirded out by all the crying kids in my first day of school.
I also remember my translucent purple suitcase with all my books and my breakfast inside.
It made me feel big, like my dad with his everyday black work suitcase.
I also remember how my books used to smell like food all the time.
I remember my first time alone in a stage.
I remember how hard I worked at such young age.
The first glimpse of the main enemy in my life: my thirst for perfection.
I remember the tears of joy from my mom, the hug from my grandparents and the pat in the back from my older brother.
I also remember my dad not making it on time.
I remember other kids calling me pretty and giving me gifts in school.
I remember falling in love being just 7 years old.
How could I -and still- call it love?
I also remember how he never looked at me once.
I remember the day my mom asked my dad no leave.
I remember my dad’s huge bag with all he could fit in it.
My tears when I saw him driving off from home while I stood in front of the window of our lounge.
I also remember never believing in love again after that.
I remember the cold after a beating in the name of caring.
I remember the purple hues on the skin of my body.
The make-up to hide some marks, the dry tears on my cheeks, the apologies after an outburst and forced to forgive.
I remember not letting anyone touch me after that.
I remember noticing a flirty look in the other side of the room.
I remeber the seven beers I took before I let myself fall for that hidden smile.
The taste of beer in every kiss, the gentle touches, excuses to spend an entire night together and the new comfort place I found.
I remeber believing in love after just four weeks and not wanting to look back.